Today a very
gnarly tragic thing happened as a meteor struck a zinc factory in Russia causing hundreds of windows to shatter and injuring 950 people from the sonic boom alone. While there are no reports of anyone suffering any fatalities, most injuries seem to be minor with a few exceptions.
Instantly law makers spoke out against meteors, and claimed that space doesn’t need to have so many rocks floating around freely. Piers Morgan suggested that space have no more than 10 rocks floating around at any time and anything above ten is just “absurd.” He then asked Dana Loesch if it was okay if space owned a tank.
Not politicizing this tragedy to push an agenda at all, a number of movie and television stars came together to make another black and white video where they repeat a word over and over again in an attempt to look deep. This, however, was countered by a video that showed these same actors in various meteor related movies.
In the wake of legislators blaming meteors for this tragedy, the NRA was quick to rise against the narrative and point out that meteors don’t kill people, gravitational pulls with meteors kill people. They then went on to blame space based video games as the reason behind meteor destruction which prompted much outrage from the space gaming community at large.
The public outcry, however, was the same across the planet as millions of people gathered around their laptops and said “cooooool.”
While somewhat shaken, the Russian residents seem to be more pissed about all the glass they have to now clean up, but grateful that now the Harlem Shake video isn’t getting annoying amounts of attention.