Good news for people who love bad news!

Throughout the DNC we heard one speaker after another, including the light bringer himself, shout about how he rescued the job market and saved millions and billions of unicorns from joblessness and the unemployment numbers are falling like rocks!

I guess rocks learned how to float gracefully in the wind because it sure is taking its time dropping.

For those playing the home game, that blue line is where O thought it would be with the recovery plan. The light blue line is where he said it would be without it. THAT RED LINE IS WHERE IT ACTUALLY IS! You can read the full report on where the graph came from here.

For all their talk of saving and creating jobs, you think they’d be a little bit more tentative about accusing Romney of being a jobs destroyer seeing as how Obama can’t even slay the monster he promised us he would. According to O, Romney is the worst thing to ever happen to the job market since himself-er whatever thing is bad for jobs that’s not himself. His record on jobs is like a comedy thats so bad it’s funny anyway.

Obama says Romney will be an outsourcer in chief. Hilarious. I hope all those kids in Chinese work shops are enjoying the jobs Obama gave them.

Obama says he’s a middle class warrior that will fight to get more jobs for the middle class. Hysterical. Wonder how these people are going to get jobs when he’s choking the job creators like Homer does to Bart. There is no magical land where jobs grow on gumdrop trees.

Under the governments help, claims Obama, they’ve seen businesses succeed. Cue laugh track. Also, and I need not remind you, GM still owes us a whopping $42 B-b-b-billion.

Obama says he saved the job market…but the dude says a lot of things.

Didn’t Obama say he was going to be a one term president if he didn’t turn this economy around?

What do ya know. He might actually be right about that one at least.