Monday, August 20 – It’s been bouncing around all of the media outlets for the past 48 hours, so you’ve probably heard the gist of it by now. But in summation: Rep. Todd Akin is a pro-life Republican now running for the Senate in hopes of unseating Democrat Claire McCaskill. Akin made a comment about pregnancies rarely ever occurring from, as he put it, “legitimate rape.” Shortly thereafter the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse swept down from the sky amidst continent-swallowing earthquakes and a barrage of flaming meteors, bringing with them the end of the world.

Tuesday, August 21 – More calls for Akin to drop out. Akin still refusing. But that’s okay, it’s not like Republicans need to win more Senate seats or anything.

Wednesday, August 22 – A not-at-all-skewed poll commissioned by MSNBC and the Wall Street Journal shows President Obama leading Mitt Romney among black people, 94 percent to 0 percent. Yes, that’s a zero.

This prompted a surge of black conservatives who, according to the poll, didn’t exist to tweet with the hashtag #BlackConservativesForRomney, which then broke into the top ten Twitter trending topics. Conservatives owning Twitter yet again.

Also, I wonder what would the media say if white support were 94 percent for Romney and 0 percent for Obama.

Thursday, August 23 – The website Gawker has obtained through probably illegal means

“950 pages of internal audits, financial statements, and private investor letters for 21 cryptically named entities in which Romney had invested—at minimum—more than $10 million as of 2011 (that number is based on the low end of ranges he has disclosed—the true number is almost certainly significantly higher). Almost all of them are affiliated with Bain Capital, the secretive private equity firm Romney co-founded in 1984 and ran until his departure in 1999 (or 2002, depending on whom you ask). Many of them are offshore funds based in the Cayman Islands.”

My only question: So?

In the article about the release, author John Cook writes, “The documents are exceedingly complicated. We don’t pretend to be qualified to decode them in full, which is why we are posting them here for readers to help evaluate – please leave your thoughts in the discussion below.”

Investigative journalism too much of a chore for you, Gawker? This is as pathetic as the release of the Sarah Palin emails. “We don’t know what we’re looking at here and, yeah, so, leave some suppositional comments and we’ll run on those.”

What background information on Barack Obama has Gawker tried to obtain?

Friday, August 24 – Another day, another shooting. Last week there was that psychotic liberal who opened fire at the conservative Family Research Council. Today a man opened fire at the Empire State Building.

It appears this shooting was not politically motivated, however, but rather had to do with the shooter’s having been fired.

Eight people were wounded, two were killed (one was the shooter’s boss, the other was the Hell-bound shooter).

All of this begs the question sure to stump liberals: Why didn’t the shooter obey New York City’s gun laws?

And in Todd Akin news, the idiot held a press conference today to announce – that he’s absolutely staying in the race till November. And then he said one of the stupidest things he’s said to date: that he’s going to win his Senate race.

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