So I’m single. If I were willing to date wimpy, limp excuses for men, I wouldn’t be single. But I’m a little bit on the picky side. I work in a profession where most of the guys are either gay or liberal, and the former are out of the question for obvious reasons. The latter are out for multiple reasons. It’s pretty simple though, and in honor of Womyn’s History Month, I offer you the top 10 reasons Leah will never, ever, not-if-you-stuck-a-fork-in-my-eye-ever date a liberal.
10. Liberals support abortion. Any guy who thinks it’s perfectly ok to kill a baby will never even get close to making the evaluation list for who I want as the father of my babies. I wouldn’t touch that with a ten foot pole and a gas mask. And any guy who doesn’t see that abortion is bad for women, doesn’t get to go out with this woman.
9. Liberals are rather opposed to firearms. Whoever I date has to be enough of a man to defend me, and if that means shooting someone, he better be up to the challenge. And seriously, if you’re too much of a pansy to use a gun, just get lost. You have no chance. While you’re gone, grow a pair.
8. I have to respect the man I date, and I just can’t respect or admire a liberal. Anyone stupid enough to belong to the same political party as Barack Obama will never get my respect. I mean, if you’re like that and ask me out, you have great taste in women, just don’t expect me to say yes.
7. A lot of guys my age are involved with the Occupy movement, and I prefer men that shower. So sue me.
6. Liberals are inconsistent. This is one of my biggest pet peeves. They want the government out of their bedrooms, unless birth control is handed to them. They want to kill innocent babies, but not give convicted terrorists the death penalty. They want to eat organic but complain about the price of food. They want to raise taxes and then complain about unemployment. I can’t stand the inconsistency. It’s stupid.
5. Liberals think the only way a woman is reaching her full potential is to be in a demanding career, and God forbid she even consider raising her children at home. The problem is, I’m all about being a stay-at-home wife and mom. My mother was one and to this day, she’s the biggest influence in my life, short of Jesus. Plus, like I said on the podcast, I like baking cookies and being all domestic and stuff. It’s fun.
4. I expect the man I date to be a gentleman. I’m perfectly capable of opening my own doors and getting my own coat, but that’s not the point. I want him to do it. He’s perfectly capable of cooking for himself too, but I want to do that for him. I’m a lady, and I expect the guy I date to treat me like that and be a gentleman. I’ve never met a single liberal that was a gentleman. Not one. And I know a lot of them, trust me.
3. When was the last time you heard a conservative talking head call a liberal woman a “c**t?” How about a “dumb twat?” No? Never? Exactly. Liberals treat women with disdain, reducing the value of a woman to a ballot for Democrats. When you’ve got guys (I can’t bring myself to call them men) like Bill Maher representing your side, don’t even ask me. Forgive me for wanting to be treated well.
2. Women want to be respected, and I’m no exception. On the Left, I get accusations of being a racist because *gasp* I didn’t vote for the black guy in 2008. I get told I’m a lousy excuse for a woman, I’ve betrayed my gender (because demanding that I think a certain way because I’m a woman isn’t sexist AT ALL), and get called stupid, ignorant, and a lot of names not fit to be printed. You name it, I’ve been called it by the Left. On the Right, I meet men who respect me, value my opinion, even when they disagree, are willing to listen to my ideas, and love the fact that I’m not a mindless lemming, but that I use my brain. So I can choose the Left and only be valued when I agree with them, or I can choose the Right and be respected for my intellect. Not a tough choice there.
1. I want a MAN. Liberal guys are whiny, weak, and passive. Somehow, the greasy, feminine, skinny-jeans-wearing hipster thing just doesn’t appeal to me at all. Eeeww. I just don’t think it’s too much to ask him to A) dress like a man, and B) to lead. Could I lead, and lead well? Absolutely. But I can’t stand that. In the words of Misfit’s lovely Sara Johnson, “You know what’s NOT hot? Me feeling like the man in my relationship.” Preach that, sister. Mmm. Now, I’m definitely not the wilting-wallflower type, the submissive little doormat that never voices an opinion about anything and therefore needs a domineering male to steer my little self through life. Ha. Definitely not. I’m a strong woman and I need a strong man. It’s true that our culture and modern feminism have done everything to suppress manhood and chivalry, but let’s bring it back, men. Chivalry rocks. Gentlemen are appreciated (by ladies). Feminism is for suckers and ugly people. So be a man, and you just might win a lady.