Well, Eric Holder’s DOJ has slapped down another attempt by a state to require photo IDs from voters. In this case, according the civil rights division head Thomas Perez, a new Texas law would “harm Hispanics,” who “disproportionately lack either a driver’s license or a personal identification card.”
Perez went on to assert that the only thing Hispanics in GOP-run Texas don’t lack is chimichangas. Wait, that’s a different example of patronizing racism. Sorry. Sometimes I confuse all the liberal attempts to keep Latinos in the barrio (and blacks on the plantation, and women in Gender Studies classes).
Anyway, voter ID laws are sensible. Having a face and a name should be the bare minimum of what it takes to exercise the franchise. But with Attorney General Eric “I Dunno” Holder around to keep us racial “cowards” in line, states must be careful how they craft the laws, and careful in how they defend them to the DOJ civil rights hacks watchdogs.
Here are 10 ideas to help states make sure their voter ID laws are acceptable to the federal DOJ.
10. Replace state seal on ID with ACORN logo.
9. Say you’re celebrating the contributions of Muslims to the fields of portrait photography and lamination.
8. Tell them Catholics don’t believe in voter IDs.
7. Complimentary Planned Parenthood coupon with every ID.
6. “ID-Walking” – Explain that requiring voter ID’s is a clever way to get the IDs into the hands of the Mexican drug cartels, who will use them to commit crimes, thus bolstering the case against said IDs.
5. “If voter IDs are bigoted, only bigots will have voter IDs.”
4. Explain the benefits of official ID for Georgetown law students who sleep around so much they forget where they live.
3. Implant IDs with chip to alert Michelle Obama every time bearer is within 50 ft of a McDonalds.
2. Change racial designations on drivers’ licenses to “Black,” “Hispanic,” Asian” or “Typical White Person.”
1. Along with ID’s, require voters to show up at polls with Billy clubs & black berets.
Thank you for showing that evil racist state of Texas how to be less evil and racist. If any of these 10 things are done the IDs will be totally acceptable!!
I’d like to formally request you strike #3 from the list on the grounds I’m scared they may take the whole “chip us” idea seriously.
“Yeeeeessss master, it will be a wonderful way to track everyone all the time… and just think of the data mining profits selling all that information to advertisers!”
Emperor Obama laughs evilly “For the glory of the Empire”
que theme music….da da da dum da da de dum DA DA DA DUM…
Check please!
(Waits for a Star Wars hating liberal with no sense of humor to make the obligatory racist, bigoted, facist remark)
Happy St Paddys
sliante
RRRAAAACIST!
We all know that buying drain cleaner, alcohol, tobacco, medication and host of other things that require a photo ID are more important than voting. Why are you trying to keep the poor, troubled masses down with your unreasonable requirements? How do you sleep at night?
SWEET!
#11) Instead of a driver’s license, require union membership ID cards.
Number 2 should have been: “Black”, “Hispanic”, “Asian”, or “Racist”.
What I don’t understand is many states have voter registration at the DMV, where you’re happening to get the photo ID anyway, so there should be a one-to-one parity there : You get a license you get on the list, so if you’re on the list you can produce the license. nah I’m still missing something……
You’re missing two important issues…
One, Democrats need an issue to help them swing the Hispanic vote, and
Two, voter ID would help reduce voter fraud.
#8 actually is true sadly
.
#8 is true in regards to the fact The Church is against such laws,
[...] Another step to one world government what a shocker a left wing group trying to make us pets of the U.N. and trying to give Iran cannon fodder. http://misfitpolitics.co/2012/03/10-ways-to-make-your-states-voter-id-laws-acceptable-to-obamas-doj/ [...]