Have you noticed it? That foul stench of bitter jealousy and sweet cream butter going head to head in an epic battle of hypocritical finger-pointing vs. individual freedom? There seems to be a war going on, and it’s whiny, shallow, loud-mouthed leftists versus the sweet southern comfort we know as Paula Deen. The celebrity chef just announced that she has been diagnosed with diabetes and, apparently, that signaled “open season” to all of her public, celebrity haters.
For you unfortunate souls who are unaware of the Deen master, let me give a bit of background. Paula Deen is perhaps the most well-known and well-liked chef of good old American southern food. Her adorable accent and fluffed out silver locks have found their way into the hearts of millions of fans, and that isn’t even including her food. The woman is a whiz in the kitchen – her style is straight up TASTY. Forget calorie-counting and all that “healthy” living stuff. No, Paula Deen has legions of fans because her stuff tastes amazing. In fact, the common joke about Deen is that everything she cooks requires at least one stick of butter, if not 40.
Not to mention, Deen is a savvy business woman. She has capitalized on her success with the production of several cookbooks, a product line of kitchenware, a handful of restaurants, and not one, but three cooking shows- “Paula’s Home Cooking” “Paula’s Best Dishes” and “Paula’s Party.” Her empire even recently expanded with the launch of her son’s show, “Not My Mama’s Meals,” in which her son Bobby will offer healthier versions of his mother’s meals.
That being said, the rambunctious southern belle announced Tuesday that she has been diagnosed with Type II diabetes- a devastating blow to her fans, but a delicious weapon for her enemies.
But who could hate this woman? Hypocritical, finger-pointing, jealous, liberal bullies – that’s who.
Let’s begin with notorious bully and foul-mouthed celebrity whiner, Perez Hilton. The ever-present jerk spouted off on Deen after her announcement. He said:
“It wasn’t like we didn’t see it coming, but just knowing that Paula Deen‘s been withholding this information and still peddling her unhealthy slop on her show makes us sick.
And guess what?
Just because she has Type 2 diabetes, she says it won’t stop her from eating what she wants. Because that’s the kind of example you want to be!… We’re pretty sick over this. How long has she known, but been carrying on with her unhealthy ways to audiences around the nation? How many cases of type 2 diabetes (other than her own), is she the cause of??
How can she sleep doing what she does?”
Well Mr. Hilton, or should I say, Mario, (yes folks, Perez Hilton was born Mario Lavandeira. I know, you’re shocked) it’s called “personal responsibility,” a concept you don’t quite seem to be grasping.
Deen did not force-feed her viewers. Deen did not “give diabetes” to anyone. As Americans, and for me as a conservative, we believe the power to make choices belongs to the individual. It is up to the individual viewer to determine whether or not to cook Deen’s food. And just in case her viewers ARE silly enough to eat her meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner, Deen actually has a reputation of encouraging her viewers and fans to eat “in moderation.”
Well Mr. Lavandeira, it appears you A. don’t believe her viewers are responsible enough to make their own decisions and B. have never paid attention to her show. To PREVENT such things as her viewers getting diabetes, Deen herself encourages them to vary their meals. “In moderation” is a common phrase heard on Deen’s shows. But the truth about Deen and her wise words to her viewers is a little… inconvenient for you, isn’t it Mario?
Echoing Hilton’s claims, comedian D.L. Hughley similarly chided Deen on Twitter stating, “The Paula Dean show should have a surgeon generals warning like pack of cigarettes! LISTENING 2 PAULA DEAN HAS BEEN KNOWN 2 CAUSE DIABETES!”
Another of her critics is professional a-hole, Anthony Bourdain. The food critic and brash host of “No Reservations” once called Deen the “worst, most dangerous person to America.”
ZOMG! Unhealthy food is bad for you?!?! Why didn’t anyone tell me!?
But I digress.
On Monday when rumors were circulating about Deen’s diagnosis, Bourdain told Eater, “When your signature dish is hamburger in between a doughnut, and you’ve been cheerfully selling this stuff knowing all along that you’ve got Type 2 Diabetes… It’s in bad taste if nothing else,” he said. “How long has she known? I suspect a very long time.”
But her most high-profile critic is none other than Michelle Obama. Yes, the first lady is no fan of Paula Deen. While the FLOTUS’ initiative to get America healthy is kind of at odds with the admittedly unhealthy recipes of Deen, their “beef” (pardon the pun, no wait, don’t pardon it – that was intentional. You should laugh because that’s funny) Ahem. Their “beef” is more personal.
Apparently, in October 2011 while promoting her new book, Deen dished that the first lady, while once visiting her show, liked to pig out on unhealthy crap including “greasy French fries, fatty hot chicken wings and sugary deep-fried Snickers bars.”
“She probably ate more than any other guest I ever had on the show!” Deen said. “She kept eating even during commercials. Know what (the Obamas’) favorite foods are? Hot wings. Y’know – those kinds of foods that aren’t necessarily top-of-the-list healthy foods.”
Apparently the first lady now regrets ever being on her show. Gee, ya think? Bet it’s hard to grow French fries in that organic garden of yours, isn’t it Michelle?
Also, just because I can and because, well, it shows what a hypocrite she is, I’d like to point out that the first lady celebrated her 48th birthday yesterday. Happy Birthday, Mrs. Obama! Guess how she celebrated? Yeah, with a $28 burger called “The Obama” – complete with Kobe beef, bacon and cheddar cheese.
So personal responsibility is, apparently, an unattainable concept in the minds of Paula Deen’s critics. Instead of wishing her well, these jerks essentially said “You got what you had coming! Good Riddance!” Ignore for a minute the fact that sometimes diabetes can be contracted genetically (not through dietary habits)… so what? So what if Deen got diabetes on account of her own behavior? This is America, darnit. She can do what she wants.
And so can her fans.
Folks, Paula Deen is everything that is GREAT about America. Ya, I said it. Come and get me, Mario. Take a swing, Anthony. Wanna go, Michelle? I’ll do a round with you. For AMERICA!
Perhaps Paula said it best when she said to Oprah, “Honey, I’m your cook, I’m not your doctor!”
p.s. this is the best website EVER. Paula Deen Riding Things. Enjoy J
(featured image by the glorious George Crudo, @Crudotastic)